Writing an MM Saga
It’s funny. As a gay man, when I turned 40, I suddenly became invisible. Now, as a middle aged, slightly overweight gay man, I might as well not exist. Such is the way with the gay scene in the UK. If you are not still in your first flush of youth, no one wants to know.
As far as relationships go, then I think the same may be said for a lot of marriages. I have been with my husband for almost 30 years, and he no longer looks at me with that same lust that he did all those years ago. That is a difficult thing to contend with, and anyone who finds themselves in the same position will agree, it kills a little part of you inside every day. I feel no different than I did 30 years ago. I could still jump his bones at twenty paces, and I try on a very regular basis, but while I have the will, he doesn’t. That age-old curse of long relationships has settled in…you know the one…. it’s the curse that makes you feel like you are more best friends than lovers.
What on Earth has any of this got to do with writing an MM Paranormal Romance series, I hear you say? Well, let me explain.
When I set out to begin Dead Camp, I had all the ideas, the Historical research, the map that told me where everyone needed to be and why. Yet, I needed a way into my story, a way to leap into my world that would allow me to set the tone. So, I decided to write it as though I were Eli, and before I knew it, everything that is me found its way onto the page. It is fair to say that I am a highly sexed individual, but like so many of us, I have to deal with rejection, and there are times that it makes me want to curl up in a ball and disappear. Sometimes it hurts so much that I can barely make myself leave the house. And that is Eli.
Eli loved someone once. He loved him more than words can ever describe. Yet, as their relationship went on, his partner became more and more distant and would reject his passes, leaving Eli feeling desperately alone and rejected. That was my jumping in point, because I could relate to that, totally. Eli is the most beautiful creature, and he knows it, yet it does nothing to alleviate his need to be touched by the one he loves. As a result, he uses his sharp tongue and his vanity to shield himself from a world that he does not want to be a part of, and while I am certainly NOT gorgeous, I can sympathize, because I feel like that all too often.
There is more of me in the pages of Dead Camp than perhaps I should admit, but as a result, it rang true to me as I was writing it. Even Malachi, the love-sick ghost, is imbued with elements of my personality. His flamboyance, his wit, his willingness to love those who do not love him. All that is me. I hide behind the pain of rejection with humour. In real life, I am quite shy…believe it or not…and put me in a room filled with people and I tremble like a council house. So, I use humour to deflect my nerves and give the impression that I am just fine. I guess we all do that to some degree.
The language in the Dead Camp universe is profane to say the least. That was a deliberate decision on my part. I wanted it to be quite raw, because that is how I felt writing it. The use of explicit language and sex scenes allowed me to express myself, how I was feeling, and to some extent, get my frustrations out on paper. In reality, the sex scenes only made me fruitier, so that made for an interesting life, I can tell you! Dear God in Heaven, I have never watched so much porn in all my life! But all of that helped me to write my story. My pain, my feelings of frustration, of loneliness, of feeling totally unattractive and unwanted, fuelled my writing and the language within the books. As a result, it made the manuscripts feel raw, and more realistic for it. We are dealing with Vampires, Ghosts, Angels and Demons, so something had to ground the whole thing in reality…something had to make it feel real, and that was my way of grounding it, by the use of language and emotions. I wanted you to feel every single thing my characters felt, pain, love, loss, rejection, terror. Those are the building blocks from which my story grew, and they are the tools I used to ground my characters and the world in which they inhabit.
Four years ago, when I started writing the first Dead Camp book, I had no idea if anything would happen with it. I had each book mapped out, detailed notes on each character and how they all linked together, and I even had the very last line of the very last book written down. I always knew how it would begin, and how it would end. I just had no idea if it would ever get published.
Here we are, four years later, and the last book in the series is about to be published by Extasy Books. It has been an amazing ride, and it has brought me some truly amazing friends as a result, and considering I never thought I would get published in the first place, I consider myself to be very lucky. It has been an absolute honour and a privilege to be a part of the MM community, and to be able to call myself an Author. These books will always be my one true love, because they are my first, and they are filled with everything that makes me who I am. Love is a wonderful thing, and if there is one thing that writing these books has taught me, is to cherish it, no matter what.
The Birthday Present
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Amazon Author page https://www.amazon.com/Sean-Kerr/e/B01A5CEPV2/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1515620546&sr=8-1
Dead Camp 5 Blurb
All stories have a beginning and a middle, but it is how those stories end that we remember them.
Everything must come to an end, and as Eli contemplates the loss of Malachi in a London ripped apart by war, he knows that the final battle looms ever closer.
Where is Ethan? Eli can feel him, their love for each other calling through time, but History conspires to keep them apart as Morbius uses him for the final game.
Desperate to find a way to end the war, Eli once again delves into the distant past in search of answers, but as Jack the Ripper taunts him from the pages of his dead lover’s diary, Eli is left despondent. So many lies, so many terrible secrets bleeding across his memories, and all of it to keep him safe from the fingers of those who would destroy him.
Love. All of it for love. So much lost, and all of it because of love. As Eli says goodbye to London for the last time, he can only hope that love will be enough to end the madness.
He has a plan to rescue Ethan. An audacious plan and it will take all of History by his side to see it through to the bitter end. It is time to break Ethan free from the bonds that enslave him, and as they hurtle towards Berlin, the final sacrifice begins.
You tube link for DC5 trailer
Dead Camp book 5 Exclusive Excerpt
Time. I had lived for so much of it, and now it was running out. My time for loving was over. Now there was only time for running.
Eight o’clock. The hour hand clicked into place, and the bell chimed out its first melancholy cry to announce the moment of my disgrace. Each peal felt like a hammer blow to my heart, driving the stake deeper into my soul with every strike, and as the last bell tolled, I heard the banging on the front door.
Three knocks. Three knocks to announce my doom.
I tried to arrange my face into a semblance of congeniality as I opened the door to the awaiting monster. It quickly turned to amazement when I saw him standing there, dressed from head to foot in skin-tight black leather with pants that left nothing to the imagination. A long-sleeved figure-hugging jacket crossed over his front, a line of golden buckles holding it firmly in place. To complete the assault on my eyes, a frill of white lace spilt out from the neckline. Every bulging muscle of his hard body pressed through the leather in curving, magnificent detail, and I could not help but look at the massiveness of his cock. Fuck, I couldn’t miss it!
“I like to make an impression. I had this little number made in France, don’t you know. I once saw King Louise XIV wear something very similar at a ball in Versailles, and well, darling, I told myself how much better it would look in leather, and voila!”
Morbius bowed low, his arms almost touching the floor. He looked fucking magnificent, and I hated him for it.
I stood back to allow him entry, and as he swaggered into the hall, he reached out a hand and cupped my balls through my linen trousers.
“Doesn’t look like you are too pleased to see me?”
“It takes a damn sight more than a bit of leather to get me hard.”
Suddenly, his tongue was in my mouth as his warm lips slid all over my mouth. Part of me felt repulsed by the touch of him, yet, I would be lying if I did not admit to also being aroused. The feel of his heat inside my mouth, the wetness of his organ as he tasted me left my own hardening organ twitching in his hand.
“Well, Gideon, that’s more like it.”
Morbius slid his hand along my shaft, pressing its length against my thigh, kneading it against my own body with a singular purpose. It made my knees tremble in anticipation.
Morbius leant into me, his wet mouth next to my ear as he whispered, “Yes, that’s it, Vampire. Feel your blood fill your cock, hard, weeping. Does it weep for me?”
I closed my eyes and allowed his words to wash over me as his fingers traced the outline of my erection. It was easier to let it happen, to give in to the pounding desire that dripped from the head of my dick and breathed against the base of my neck.
“Give in to me, Gideon. Let me take you. Let me set you free. Let me make your blood burn.”
Morbius left me hanging. His lips and hands disappeared from my body, and it felt as though all the air had been sucked out of the room.
“Blood!” Morbius hollered into the high ceiling as he spun around on his heels. “It always comes down to blood, does it not? Tell me, Gideon, do you have the right kind of blood?”
He knew. The way he looked at me, his sly smirk, the knowing glint in his eyes, the daring jaunt of his kissing lips. He fucking knew.
“I am Vampire. Blood is everything to me.”
“Indeed, so you are, and so it is! But you are so much more than that, aren’t you? Come, Gideon, it is time to lay our truths bare. If you are to join us in our great crusade, you must be honest with us. Who are you, Gideon? What are you hiding?”
“What makes you think that I’m hiding anything?”
“Like you, I have lived a very long time. I have seen much. Did you know that I was there when Pilate whipped my brother half to death?”
Pain flashed through my heart as I remembered that terrible day on the Pavement in Jerusalem, as I ripped the flesh from the back of an innocent with a whip. Every line of red that split across his back was a moment of time that haunted my every thought, and Morbius saw it. He read the pain of the memory in the glistening sorrow of my eyes.
“Except it wasn’t Pilate who whipped him, was it?”
Eaton Place disappeared from my view. All I could see was Morbius grinning at me, his beautiful eyes seeing through the façade of my existence. Walls, floor, stairs, all became but a blur as I flew at him, as my arms wrapped around his muscular frame and I pressed my lips against his.
Nothing else mattered anymore, only Morbius.
Nothing else mattered anymore, only my blood.
We staggered around the hall as our bodies entwined around each other and our mouths devoured our faces. His breath huffed into my mouth, and from the back of his throat issued a low bestial growl that engorged my cock. I hated him so much, but I would fuck him until he could not walk anymore!
I pushed Morbius away, and it was all he could do to catch his breath between his swollen lips as his voice sighed from his wet mouth.
“I can smell it on you, you know. The history running through your veins. It reeks of secrets, almost as much as you reek of despair. Tell me, man of history, tell me who you are.”
As my fingers fumbled with the leather belt around my waist, my gaze locked with Morbius, and I saw him in all his terrible glory. I saw the vengeful, bitter, discarded God, and I felt the power of his rage and his desire for retribution burning its way through Heaven. He belonged to the world long before I met my syphilitic fate, and fuck did he frighten me.
I met his terrible gaze with steel in my words. “Why don’t you come over here and find out?” My thick solid cock slapped into the palm of my hand as it broke free from its restraints. “But you will have to suck it out of me.”
Morbius broke eye contact as his full attention moved to the veined, pulsing member in my hand. “I thought you would never ask.”
As Morbius reached out to touch my spear of throbbing flesh, my body sprang into action. The time for hesitation had passed, and so I moved to bring the fiasco to an end, and I allowed myself to give into temptation. No longer could I resist the flames that ignited my blood, or my need to fill him with my seed, to end the futile Tango that we all danced so timidly.
I lifted Morbius from the floor and slammed him down on to the stairs, and as I stood over him, I thrust my hard cock into his open mouth, my fingers pulling on his hair as I rammed my length down his throat.
Dead Camp book one.
Sometimes the past refuses to stay buried, and sometimes it comes back to bite you in the ass.
Eli is an ancient vampire with an ego the size of a planet and a sex drive to match, but his tumultuous past left him broken, so he hides from humanity and cowers from love, left to endure the crushing guilt that haunts his every waking moment. Even his best friend, Malachi, a ghost who is hopelessly in love with Eli, remains unaware of all that transpired in London. Malachi can never know the truth.
When the Angel Daniyyel pays an unwelcome visit, Eli must face his secrets, secrets that he has tried so long to hide. To make matters worse, a chance encounter with the most beautiful man he has ever seen shatters his beloved isolation, pushing him into the world of the living once more. Something about this strange man seems so familiar, but Eli can’t even remember who he was before he became a vampire, never mind explain the unwanted emotions the enigmatic stranger ignites in his dead heart. So Eli has a choice – return to the world that ruined him, or continue his self-imposed exile with no hope of salvation.
Dead Camp book two.
It is said that the Devil is in the detail, but what if the Devil was in you?
The world is at war, a war determined to involve Eli, whether he likes it or not. Hitler, his dark army of feral vampires, and even the Devil himself, all conspire against Eli, leaving him no choice but to fight back, risking Malachi’s soul in the process.
Eli is determined to find Ethan’s father, no matter the cost to himself or Malachi, and in a place filled with death and unending cruelty, Eli realizes that some truths should remain buried, and some truths are just too terrible to bear. When the old enemy, demons from Eli’s dark past, find him once more, they reveal a secret so impossible, so terrible, that it pushes Eli to the very edge of his endurance. They took his boyfriend from him once, and the secrets that they reveal about the man he once loved threaten to strip Eli of everything that he holds dear, pushing him to the edge of his sanity.
Eli thought that he had nothing left to lose, but at Welwelsburg Concentration Camp, he realizes that he was very wrong.
Dead Camp book 3
To understand the present, you must first understand the past.
As Wewelsburg castle burns, Eli carries Isaiah to safety. So much is lost, Malachi is gone, the Demon from Eli’s terrible past is reborn into a world already at war, and to make matters worse, Gideon is back. Yet, before Eli can even reach the sanctuary of his home, he learns a painful truth about Gideon, the truth of why he left him, and Eli can barely hold onto his own sanity. Eli quickly understands that not everything in life, or death, is black and white, and sometimes to protect the ones we love, we have to make the greatest sacrifice of all.
Something is coming. Eli can feel it, there, in the darkness, taunting him. The truth of his own mysterious identity. But the road to the truth is paved with the pain of a story that he has to hear, a story that will change his perception of history forever, a story of great love, and a story of two lovers who died to change the world. He does not want to hear it, he does not want to believe it, but if he is to understand who he was, if he is to understand why he was made Vampire, he has no choice but to listen as history unfolds before him.
With Morbius close at his heals, the truth is finally out, and Eli can either allow himself to be crushed beneath the burden of his own identity, or allow the world to be consumed by the evil knocking at his door.
Death is just the beginning - love is the end.
Dead Camp 4 Blurb
Saying goodbye is too much for one heart to take.
As Eli comes to terms with his true identity, he, Isaiah and Malachi must flee from France as Morbius closes the net around them. Yet saying goodbye to his home and the love that he must leave there forever proves to be more difficult than Eli could ever imagine.
Now Eli has to face the tumultuous events that transpired in Victorian England, and Malachi must face a return trip to the place of his birth and his death. London is waiting for them, and as they grieve for the loss that fills their broken hearts, each has a story to face and a dilemma to confront that could change their lives forever.
As London falls to Hitler’s deadly bombs, each must be prepared to say their goodbyes, because the end game has begun.